Stereotypes or reality? By living in Italy, getting to know many Italian men, and discovering how Italian men flirt, I figured, that there are so many things about Italian men, that women around the world are interested in! Here are 15 things you want to know about Italian men! How do Italian guys flirt, how do Italian men think about a partnership, flirting, and what is the Italian mentality about relationships? We’ll see first how Italian guys flirt, the basics of flirting in Italian, and then we’ll go through some stereotypes about Italian men.
We will be discussing details about how to date an Italian man, and how not to. Also, we’ll see out of the many stereotypes we hear about Italian men, what I found to be real, and what is really just a stereotype? This article was originally written by Menty, from Gustobeats – A Rome lifestyle blog. The version you can read today is a completely re-done article with much more details on the topic of how Italian guys flirt and what are the stereotypes of Italian men?
There Is An Art Called “Flirting In Italy” – How do Italian guys flirt?
Flirting in Italy is common. An Italian man is known as romantic and stylish, and they love flirting with girls. You can say they love this flirting game but they will tell you they see it as an art. Indeed, it is an Italian man’s lifestyle. As a female traveler or if you are even a solo traveler, how to tell that you are in a flirting “game” with an Italian man? How to react when being approached by an Italian man? How to enjoy this art of flirting with Italian guys?
Flirting is a culture in Italy?
Flirting in Italy is deep in its genes and culture. First, we shall see where in Italy. Italy is a European country on the Mediterranean sea. The strong and almost all-year-round sunshine, the warm air, the sea breeze, and the beautiful green lands with endless flowers, are the soil to nurture the passion and the love deep in people’s vain. The Italians have an extreme love for food and wine, music, and art, which are all different forms of their love for life. Now, you have no doubt see how much they love flirting art.
Flirting starts with sweet talk, words like bella, cara, bellissima, meraviglia that for an outsider something that will take you off your feet fast. Italian men know how to flirt. And if you want to be successful and be brought to the next level with an Italian guy, you must know that you have to resist! This is true for many, in many different cultures, but for Italian men especially!
If they get you too fast, they will disappear just as fast after! There are no exceptions, especially with handsome Italian men. They are well aware of their charm, their outlook, and their gifts, and they know that they can have as many women as they want. So if you want to get an Italian guy, you must resist!
Why does an Italian man flirt with ladies?
Italian man always has a deep and strong connection with women. The most “negative” way to call those men, might be Mama’s boy, in Italian mammone. However, it just shows how important a mother is to a family and to every single Italian man. Somehow, this strong connection to a female is transformed into an “obsession” with a young woman. I have read this sentence but now I cannot recall the source… “Italian man, probably, has two biggest passions in their life. One is women, the other is football.”
Flirting in Italy is a game and the process is more important than the result. Flirting with a lady doesn’t mean that an Italian man has a high expectation of forming a close relationship with that lady. It’s actually the opposite,, the Italian man simply enjoys interacting with a charming woman. They appreciate the “beauty” of a beautiful woman. It is not only the attractive appearance but also how smart or interesting the person is. Flirting is exactly the way for an Italian man to get to know a smart woman.
When an Italian man starts his flirting game and when he stops?
The first lesson you must learn when it comes to flirting in Italy, and how Italian guys flirt is that you shouldn’t ever start picturing your lives together after a few sweet words. Italians are quite good at making you picture a future together just by flirting with you. Moreover, they could do this courtship even for months, and they would still not call you their girlfriend!
For many cultures, this sounds impossible, ridiculous, and weird. In most places, if you go on a few dates, you do some flirting, it’s because you actually like that other person, and just that one. In Italy, it’s not how this works. And after living here for quite some time, now I actually prefer the way how do Italian guys flirt, and the courtship that’s lasting forever. It’s lasting forever if they are not sure that they can see themselves with you in their future. But in each case, taking everything slowly, dating for months before you call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend is a basic in Italian culture.
It’s actually the way of finding your true partner that our grandparents and great-grandparents did. Men during history were always meant to do courtship for a longer time to the lady they wanted to marry. This, with some modern details, still works in Italy. The modern details are, that now this goes beyond flirting, to actually being together physically too. However, Italian men flirt and do courtship for a while, while saying things that get you head over heels, but that still doesn’t mean that he is actually interested in something serious! This is really important to understand. Flirting in Italian way doesn’t match with anything you’d experience in the US or the UK, or anywhere else.
Does an Italian man flirt with a foreign lady?
Yes, Italian guys do flirt with foreigners, when the language barrier isn’t present. If it’s present, they still might try and see what the body language will bring them. Italian men are always looking for authenticity, for women who are different than the big crowd, and they are kind of actually obsessing over this. Being a foreigner for an Italian man means the endless possibility of unexpected and unknown conversations about topics they didn’t know before. It’s exciting, and flirting in Italian way with a foreigner becomes more interesting than with an Italian lady.
When it comes to rules about flirting, there are actually no rules. However, there are actually some basic rules about how Italian guys flirt, such as taking the first step themselves or keeping eye contact continuously. Italian men love new things, such as every single man on earth. It’s exciting, and they stick in the present completely, to bring out the most of the situation. This is why I warned you previously to be careful what you believe from those sweet words, because most of the time, they are either just testing you, or trying to speed up the process to get to the next level. These little things are important for those asking how to date an Italian! Compliments and visions are key in the game of flirting in Italian way.
How to date an Italian? – The second chance, the second date:
Flirting is just the first step. The harder part comes when we speak about dating an Italian man. If the first impressions are great, they will ask for a second meeting. And here comes the trick that woman who wants to know how to date an Italian must remember! An Italian man, if he wants to see you, he will offer to see you! If he doesn’t, you better not contact him ever, to try to get out even for a coffee!
If the man is interested, he will propose to go get a coffee or have an Aperitivo. Coffee is always that very first date drink when you just want to understand if the other person is into you or not. An Aperitivo is already a level where you can expect that something more will happen. Then, if we go all the way to a dinner date, we can already speak about more serious intentions than just some flirting.
Here comes another warning though. When I say something more serious, it might just be that he wants to continue doing courtship. It doesn’t mean right away that he would want to be in a relationship with you! Also, it might just be that he wants to get in bed with you. The worse is, that in the meantime he will actually make you feel like you’re the most amazing woman on earth, and the next moment he might just disappear.
The only key to dating an Italian man, and getting him to want to do the next step is if you stay smart! No phone calls, no chasing, and absolutely not giving yourself or your thoughts over to an illusion! I love listening to my girlfriends (Italians) and seeing those who already understood the game, and seeing those who keep sinking because they just can’t accept that this is a game. And if you play well, you can win.
10 Stereotypes about Italian men – facts about Italian men
Now that I’ve given you a few details about the game of how Italian guys flirt, and how flirting in Italian way works, it’s time to speak about some stereotypes about Italian men and see what is true, and what is false. Also, some of these facts about Italian men remember that they are collective facts. As no person on earth is the same, Italian men aren’t all the same either! My friends would feel really offended if I didn’t highlight this. As in any other country, not all men love games, and not all of them want to try 100 women before settling down with one. These are collective things that many do, but there are many who don’t!
1. The Italian Man
As mentioned, I must state that we are all different. We can’t actually put all Italian men in one box and say that they are all the same, as they are not! This is super important to highlight! We’re now analyzing one side of them, that’s really common in many, but it’s still not true for all of them!
Italian men are charming, sometimes romantic, but in all categories, when they want to get you, they will first get you off your feet with sweet talks and cheesy promises. It’s not always true what they say at this time. They’re on a hunt, remember that! Italian men love the hunt, like any other men around the world. They want to be in control of the hunting process and they don’t like needy ladies at all. – Again, something that’s true not just when we speak about Italian men!
2. Why women around the world love Italian men so much?
Dark hair, beautiful tan, cute stubble, smile, and sweet words. Italian men cherish women in a way that you won’t find in many other cultures. They can make you feel the most beautiful, the most elegant, the most intelligent person on earth, and that’s usually enough for many to give in.
Italian men are charming, they know (usually) how to speak with us, women, and they know exactly what we want to hear. And another reason is that there are so many handsome Italian men. Well dressed, fashionable, elegant with a great job, and they just have this charm that you can’t shake off.
3. Italian men are romantic and passionate. True or not?
Honestly, after living in 4 different countries during the past 27 years of my life, I could say that this, as everything else when it comes to stereotypes about Italian men is half true. Some guys are super romantic, and they would actually try to bring down the moon for you, while others either aren’t romantic at all, or they are just too broken inside to show it.
Most of the time, however, Italian men have a great manner when it comes to treating a woman, and they will offer to pay the bill, or open the door for you. Again, this depends on who you’re dating and what background that person has. Saying that Italian men are romantic or Italians are passionate is true, but it’s not like everyone is Michele Morrone from 365 days, or anything similar. It really depends on the individual. The fact though, that I didn’t get so much attention, passion, romance, and love from a man of any other culture as I did in Italy… well that’s true.
4. Italian men – mamma’s little boy?
Oh yes… Mamma’s little boy they are. It’s not a myth and it’s not even a problem in most cases. I mean, family in Italy is really important, and the role of a mother is really important and appreciated. In the end, they are who gave us lives, right? In some cases, mothers tend to exaggerate when it comes to taking care of their sun, but that’s not true just for Italians!
Anywhere around the world, you go, you can easily find mum’s little boys and because of that, this isn’t a stereotype that should be reflected just on Italians. The importance of family in Italian culture is indeed much more in the spotlight than anywhere else I’ve seen, but if you just accept this, it wouldn’t give you many headaches. In the end, if your mother-in-law isn’t a dragon, it’s nice to be part of an Italian family. Just think about all that great food they will make you eat!
5. Italian men and serious relationships?
I need to laugh when it comes to this… If there’s one eternal truth about Italian men these days, especially the beautiful, successful ones… That they don’t want to commit! No, niente they want to have fun and that’s it. You must be a high-value woman, with strict expectations, and play it really well to get a successful and handsome Italian man to want to commit. Italian women tend to settle down with those who aren’t actually what they imagined for themselves because those Italian men are simply more open to commitment.
We’re discussing this topic with my girlfriends almost every time we get together, and not even us, living in Italy, and those who are Italians can’t explain this thing. I’ve been asking my men friends who are in this state, they are handsome and successful, yet still single. I asked them why they won’t commit, and the answer was that they didn’t yet find someone who’d be a great match, so they continue having fun… Okay…
6. Italian men and the urge of settling down?
As I have just described above, Italian men aren’t rushing to settle down. Again, this isn’t true for everyone, but for many of them, it is. Why? These days (not just Italians) we all want to find our best match instead of committing to someone who’s just kind of acceptable. A successful, handsome Italian man won’t settle down with a historic woman who is needy and wants to change him, his lifestyle, his habits, or well, anything about him. It’s not about facts about Italian men, it’s a fact for everyone.
There’s one specific person who enters the successful, handsome category, and he told me how many starting relationships he ended because the girl couldn’t accept that he was working until late, he has business trips, or he simply wants to spend his weekend with friends instead of her. This, you either can accept it, or you’ll either lose them. People these days don’t want to have to make sacrifices and compromise from the beginning. If you’re pushing them to do it, they will simply run away.
7. Italian men are cheaters and don’t know what monogamy means?
Oh, come on! Are stereotypes about Italian men exaggerated? It’s true for any man and woman all around the world who’s not ready for a relationship, or it’s not yet with the person they feel like they could spend their time with. Indeed, it’s absolutely true for Hungarians, Brits, Americans, and Chinese. Those who did settle down before they found their perfect match will probably become cheaters.
Those, who don’t get what they need at home, will possibly cheat on their partner. It’s not something that’s happening just in Italy. It’s something that’s present everywhere around the world. If you have a healthy, happy, passionate relationship with great communication on the side, there’s no way your partner would want to cheat on you, no matter what’s his nationality.
8. Be a great cook if you want to win an Italian’s heart
Italians love food. It’s part of the culture. And we love Italian food too, am I right? Well, this again isn’t a stereotype of Italian men, but it’s a fact for every man on earth. If you can cook, and you are capable of serving great food for dinner at home, they will cherish you even more!
The way for every man’s heart is through their stomach! This, my not Italian uncle told me, and I found it absolutely true with guys from anywhere around the world. However, if you cook for an Italian man, you will get all the compliments on earth, which makes it already worth it, since a simple dinner can put you in the best mood ever.
9. Sense of possession – Italian men are jealous?
When it comes to stereotypes about Italian men, and facts about Italian men, jealousy is an absolutely true one! A British guy might point out that he’s not much happy that it seemed that you’ve been flirting with somebody else, indeed. But they won’t say that you shouldn’t dress the way you’re dressing because you’re attracting attention.
Most Italian guys are really jealous. They have a sense of possession that’s really strong when it comes to women. It’s something that you can’t shake off. And most of the time, it’s not because they feel guilty as they were flirting with other women. Many times, they do it because they are insecure, or they are simply just afraid of losing you.
In Italy, especially in small towns and villages, Italian women are expected to dress well, cover up themselves, and not show everything to everyone on the street. First, because of the flirting in Italian life, but also because men don’t hide if they see an attractive woman on the street. From the youngest to the elder, everyone turns around after an attractive woman. And, well, if that woman is you, your partner will not tolerate others staring at you. Again, to protect their possession.
10. Italian guys are hunters – be easy to get and you won’t keep them
I’ve already highlighted this time after time in the article, but let’s discuss it now by focusing on these facts about Italian men! Like every man on earth, Italian guys are hunters too. They enjoy the hunt, they love to be in control, and they love to chase their target. If you’re an easy-to-go, with whom they can get in bed the first night, don’t expect much positive income.
Most of them will probably say after that they needed just fun, they aren’t ready for a relationship, and other cliche speeches that we know very well, not just coming from Italians. However, what I have learned, is that the woman must respect the courtship period too. If you’re trying to rush an Italian man into commitment, or you try to do more steps than what he does, he will disappear.
You need to learn to live in the moment and focus on just that moment. Also, you must learn the flirting and courtship game, in order to not scare a man away. And you must definitely understand and practice the concept of piano, piano (slowly, slowly) that’s a core ingredient in Italian lifestyle in usual. Take your time, enjoy the flirt, enjoy the dates, and enjoy all the activities you’re doing together. But, never let your imagination take your relationship to a level that in reality, you did not reach yet!
Wrapping up the 10 stereotypes about Italian men – facts about Italian men
I can’t stop saying enough times, that Italian guys aren’t much different than any other guy in any other country. There are mother’s boys, handsome hunters, and shy cuties. The only thing that’s different between Italian men and other men on earth is their culture. If you understand and learn the culture, and live by the Italian culture, you can get any Italian you want, just as if you’d be hunting a guy in any other country. Italian men aren’t Roman gods, even if most of them look like that. They are just as humans as you are, and you deserve the same respect from them, as you do from anyone else!